Skip to main content

Conversation: Mental Health and Self-care

We had a conversation in the car. 

About mental health in workplace. 

It was a very sensitive topic to me since I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Having bipolar means the depression is worst. The period is longer. Then BAMMMMMM mood swings, anger, eating disorder, grieve, anxiety came along. 


But we were talking about it because I was a high-functioning person with bipolar disorder. I didn't get medication for more than two months now, and believe me, everyday that pass by is just me throwing my body to the wall and breaks like a piece of ceramic and pick myself back again with bare hands. It's hard. 

I didn't get medication, I didn't get counselling, I didn't get psychotheraphy. I was struggling to do self-care, I was struggling to sleep or wake up. It was a battle everyday, and to think about it, I just started a career. I was marching in a battleground every morning. 

Mental health in workplace has been recently a raised topic in Malaysia, since there is statistics showing employees having suicidal tendencies because of their job. But I would call them as burnout and I know I needed a break. But what if I don't realise that I need a break?

My body will tell me. 

I know I needed a break when I can't gt out of bed. I know I needed a break when I don't eat properly. I know I'm being mean to everyone when I needed a break. I want to shut down the world and go missing for days, hours, but I'm lucky I have boyfriend, friends and family who consistently looks out for me and my symptoms. 

He told me;

A person's brain is like an electric rice cooker. If they are functioning, they will cook the rice nicely. Too much water, they will be porridge. Too little water, they will be hard rice. But they are still food, and we can still consume them. Depends on how we take it, anyway. 

But if the cooker is broken, there's nothing we can do about it. Uncooked rice, stale rice, ruined rice. It wasn't safe to be consumed. That's when we need to fix it. Replace it. 

A person's worth was never counted by how they performed, and what they produced. But themselves. They need to know and love themselves. They need to realise that self-care is the most important thing, and knowing when to step back. 

I believe in myself so far, and I will walk as long as I can. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Film Thoughts: Flatliners (2017)

I have mixed feelings on what to write about this film, but I'm going to write about it, anyway.



A medical student, Courtney (Ellen Page), is obsessed with the idea of the afterlife, wanting to find out what happens after death. She invites fellow students Jamie (James Norton) and Sophia (Kiersey Clemons) to join her in an experiment, in an unused hospital room: using defibrillation to stop her heart for sixty seconds whilst recording her brain, and then reviving her. She assures them they would not be held responsible for any accidents. Sophia is against this, but Jamie does it anyway. After sixty seconds, they panic as they are unable to revive her, but eventually manage to with the help of Ray (Diego Luna). Later, Marlo (Nina Dobrev) arrives and learns of the experiment.

Initially Courtney begins to recall memories of past events such as her grandmother's recipe for bread. Courtney experiences increased intelligence and euphoria, being suddenly able to play the piano after …

Book Review: Seronok by Saat Omar (Buku FIXI)

(I believe what is more catchy is the book cover!)
Thanks to CAIS UNIMAS, I finally can read this book.
The theme of the story is about homosexual -- Amirul is falling for Bakar. For me, I've been looking for this type of story in Malaysian literature, too bad I started with this one (after all I always loved Fixi books).
I am studying on transgender and their 'relatives' and being homophobic at the same time. Trying to understand why people don't accept them. I actually accepts them, but not allowing them continue being one. Because? It is wrong of course.
However, nice story line, the composition and the maximum usage of the characters, I love them. Especially Amirul because he actually told everyone he is a gay, but not to his mother (how ironic!)
And few critics on arts and films, it blends well and towards the ending ----- a gay can actually change to a normal guy. Why? Because woman belong to man, and so vice versa.